I’ve been reading more. (I almost said trying to read more, but try has gotten the ax.) So I was enduring this novel that I thought would be better. Frankly, I was finishing it to finish it, if you know what I mean. But there, in the last chapter, was the universe’s reason for my picking up that particular book and struggling through it. A secondary character made this point: “There are only two true motivators in life: love and fear. Everything else stems from that.”

Old School Knowledge, Still Valid

This is not new logic; everyone from Buddha to John Lennon to Jim Carrey https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJD5-R_HPCc has shared thoughts on fear vs. love. The question I have been asking myself is how can we live our lives, make daily decisions, and walk through fire from a place of love? How can we give fear the kick in the pants it deserves and live our lives with passion and purpose?

Even Science Supports It

But first, a lesson in biology: All mammals, including humans, have two opposing hormonal responses to stimuli. When threatened, our bodies produce stress hormones – adrenaline and cortisol. When we are feeling safe, soothed, loved, we produce oxytocin. We are biologically created to heal ourselves with love: cortisol is unique in that the more our mind makes, the better able we are to receive it.

Take it on the Hunt

One thing I do know is you can’t hunt as a master if you are a slave to your fears. I’ve been working on some techniques for checking in on my motivations. My favorite is this: how does my body feel at this moment? Often, we are distracted by how we THINK we feel, not how we feel. So check in: push your thoughts out of your head and into your heart. (Sounds weird, but it works). Is your heart racing? Hands shaking? Or is your brain messing with you?   This is one of the ways fear worms its way into your thoughts with anxiety and worry.

Get Curious…It Always Helps

I also recommend another little Q&A: Ask yourself “why?” Why am I avoiding this task? For example: “Why don’t I call my mom?” The answer to that question is never about love. It’s always about fear. And as we learned in the biology lesson, love begets more love. SO CALL YOUR MOM.

A Last Note about Fear

The things we fear are often worse than the outcome of acting on the fear. Fear causes paralysis. Still water breeds bacteria. Love puts you into the flow of the universe. Flow gets you moving. And if you are aligning your actions and decisions with your authentic motivations, you put yourself in an incredible position of positivity. Positivity equals love.

Here are a few easy things you can do TODAY to increase the love in your life:

Be compassionate. Realize you have no idea what it is like to be in someone else’s shoes.   Let someone merge in bad traffic. Buy a stranger a cup of coffee. Hold a door; give what you can when you can.

Hug someone. (Maybe not a stranger.) Friendly physical touch releases oxytocin. So hug your kids, your neighbor, your spouse, your friends. Hug it out!

Laugh.   Life is funny. Balls are funny. I bet you’re funny.

Take a walk. Physical activity relieves stress. A simple walk to clear your head puts you in a better place (literally) to make positive decisions. Sitting and stewing does not.

Call a friend. (Or your mom or dad, they would love that.) Set aside a few minutes to catch up or reach out. Life is short: phone calls can be too.

Breathe. Eight seconds in, eight seconds out. Breath is life. Inhale love; exhale fear. It’s that easy.

It all comes down to this: love is good. It puts you in a place of positivity and power. Fear is bad. It creates negativity and weakness. Love is I AM. Fear is I CAN’T. Yes, you can and yes, you are. Hunt down love, and you will achieve more of your goals and hit more of your targets. And, as a side effect, make the world a better place.

Inspiration comes in many forms. I often find my inspiration in nature, in my boys’ laughter, my wife’s smile. Sometimes I find it in boardrooms and meetings, on Skype calls or, in this case, in Scottsdale, Arizona. I was there to deliver a speech at Yelp’s offices and due to the time change and an extra early morning, I found myself watching the movie, Unbroken.

I can’t say it was high on my list of films to catch when I had the chance (with three small boys, it’s nearly impossible to set aside a couple of hours for a movie starring anyone other than SpongeBob). So I’m watching this movie about the life story of Louis Zamperini and the line that strikes me and just won’t let go is this: “A moment of pain is worth a lifetime of glory.

Louis got me thinking about pain. I can’t say I have or will ever experience the pain, physical, mental or emotional, he went through in his lifetime. But Louis had a strong desired outcome, an Ultimate Goal: to remain unbroken in spirit. By keeping his mind focused on his DO, Louis survived. And he found in himself the strength to forgive his tormentors and live his glory.

You will get knocked down before making it. At the very least, you will endure losses, setbacks, things not going as planned. But when you have a desired outcome hardwired into your thoughts, you will endure. And you will survive to find the glory you seek.

I want each and every one of you to set a desired outcome for your life, an Ultimate Goal. One that will override or sustain all the other targets you set. When you’re deciding where you want your life to take you, you have to go deep.   Here are a few questions that will help guide you when setting an Ultimate Goal:

• What meaning does this goal have?

• What purpose does this goal serve?

• Is it big enough? Is it worth the investment of your life?

We all want work we enjoy and a life that feeds our soul, grows our mind and expands our connection to the world around us. If you made a movie about your life would the moments of pain define you, or the moments of glory? Seek out those moments to rise above. Embrace moments of pain and let them wash through you, leaving behind smooth sand where you can create a glorious future.   As hunters, we know that our targets, especially our Ultimate Goals, are completely worth a trip through fire.

I have made my fair share of mistakes on my hunt for success. We all make mistakes, every last one of us. I’d bet some of you keep track of every mistake, a running tally following you into every endeavor. Mistakes are hard to let go; they cling like burrs. But even the most successful hunter wanders off course and into a bramble now and then. Like burrs, mistakes can be pulled off and tossed away, leaving behind only a reminder not to walk that way again.

The process of making and recovering from mistakes is a valuable learning tool; it’s not that we make mistakes: it’s what we do afterwards that defines us. My father, a proven business leader and philosopher, taught me to deal with my mistakes with these three questions. They may seem simple and logical to you. But at 3am when my mind is chasing a particular mistake around like a flyaway arrow, these questions always help me put my mistakes to bed and get some sleep.

1) Did you mean it, to hurt or to harm, or was it an honest mistake?

2) Can you fix it? (Then fix it.)

3) Did you learn something that can help you in the future?

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what it means to be human. We are a collection of our experiences. It’s what we do with them that keep us moving toward success.   And as we are all hunters, we know what it means to trek down the wrong path or make a bad call. Hunters pick up their gear and move on to hunt another day, using that information to be better hunters.

So no matter how hard you have to work to get back on solid ground after a mistake, stay out of victim mode. By maintaining your authenticity, you can stay cool and lead. Own your mistakes, talk through the issues and get through the muck. Then shut up about what went wrong, get you back on track, hunting down your desired outcomes.

We all love a good book or movie that tells a solid story, leaving us changed and challenged by the art form, no matter the medium. Storytelling is a gift and a craft. If the story is good, a great story can be crafted from it. If the story is great, greatness will come from it. Every great story has a purpose: to change, challenge and connect with its audience.

When we tell a story, it is an opportunity to share our experience and connect with people. For many years, as I told stories in duck blinds, on boats or in the field, I thought only to entertain my friends and family. I loved making them laugh or touching their hearts, but it turns out there was more. Recently, I have come to realize that each of my stories told individually were good, but when woven together with a purpose, they become great.

Last year, I spent a good portion of my time traveling around the country, speaking to companies and organizations. At each place, I shared The Hunt and the story of coming back from the brink of defeat to founding Carbon Media Group and in turn, HealthRise.   The purpose of my story is to illustrate that when it seems as if the end is near, there is always another pivot or solution we’re not seeing. I have crafted my story so the audience can change their point of view, is challenged to look for their pivots and is connected by the emotional experience.

Here are a few tips for you to tell a story that will resonate with your audience:

Be human. People love to connect; it’s human nature. And let’s face it when the chips are down, we are all human, baby.

Be authentic. It is so easy to hide our true selves. When we put our true, authentic self out there, audiences will respond.

Make ‘em laugh. Or cry. Emotion equals investment. And when an audience invests in you, they will stick with you.

Make a memory. Give your audience a “take away;” words that will stick with them when they need a boost or mantra to help them in their life.

When you are working on storytelling or just your presenting skills, remember the three “C”s – Connect, Challenge, Change. Those three words will transform your stories into memories for your audience. And they will put us in touch with the purpose of sharing them: to create a bond that amplifies the human experience.

Many people shy away from conflict, try to smooth out differences and avoid those uncomfortable moments. I embrace conflict when it arises because I know that the more I know about the people around me, the better hunter I will be. Conflict can be a productive tool that strengthens a team as well as a lesson on how to let go of your ego and see things from another’s point of view.

Workplace conflict can range from small, daily battles to big, fundamental differences.   But without resolution or airing those grievances, conflict will escalate. I once consulted with a company that was having real problems dealing with a showdown between its COO and one of it managers. I met with each party individually and heard two entirely different versions of the events that had triggered it. The COO felt the manager was stubbornly refusing to cooperate, and the manager felt a lack of clear vision and guidance on the part of the COO.

Fundamentally, these two were on the same side. They were just unable to see the situation clearly, unclouded by emotions and judgment. They had also stopped listening to each other.   Once they were able to acknowledge how they were filtering the situation through their own experiences, they were able to set a target that created common ground. Their collective desire to succeed at a common objective refocused their energy, and the conflict created a tighter bond driving them toward success.

There are five key steps to making conflict work FOR you. Every good hunter knows to do this in the field; now we need to bring these steps to the office and apply them!

Be open to new ideas. Hunters know every hunt is a new experience. They apply existing knowledge but are always ready to learn something new.   When you are facing a conflict, open yourself to the opportunity to learn.

Listen. Then respond. Hunters know when to keep their ears open and their mouths shut. It can make all the difference in taking home a trophy. Remember that listening is not waiting to talk. Take notes if you must. But LISTEN.

Lose the ego and put yourself in your opponent’s position. Hunters know empathy is a powerful tool. Imagine yourself as the person across the table and see the situation through their eyes.

Be objective. Hunters work with facts, not emotion. They rely first on information like wind direction, weapon proficiency, and known trails to take down their targets. You need to do the same.

Develop a systematic approach. Hunters know to develop a method to ensure a successful hunt; they do not go off on a whim. When faced with conflict, start with an open mind and a willing ear and leave your emotions at the door.

Hunters succeed by using all their skills and keeping their wits about them.   When you do the same in the office, you will achieve more of your desired outcomes and build a strong tribe of hunters who will have your back in the future.