I’ve been reading more. (I almost said trying to read more, but try has gotten the ax.) So I was enduring this novel that I thought would be better. Frankly, I was finishing it to finish it, if you know what I mean. But there, in the last chapter, was the universe’s reason for my picking up that particular book and struggling through it. A secondary character made this point: “There are only two true motivators in life: love and fear. Everything else stems from that.”
Old School Knowledge, Still Valid
This is not new logic; everyone from Buddha to John Lennon to Jim Carrey https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJD5-R_HPCc has shared thoughts on fear vs. love. The question I have been asking myself is how can we live our lives, make daily decisions, and walk through fire from a place of love? How can we give fear the kick in the pants it deserves and live our lives with passion and purpose?
Even Science Supports It
But first, a lesson in biology: All mammals, including humans, have two opposing hormonal responses to stimuli. When threatened, our bodies produce stress hormones – adrenaline and cortisol. When we are feeling safe, soothed, loved, we produce oxytocin. We are biologically created to heal ourselves with love: cortisol is unique in that the more our mind makes, the better able we are to receive it.
Take it on the Hunt
One thing I do know is you can’t hunt as a master if you are a slave to your fears. I’ve been working on some techniques for checking in on my motivations. My favorite is this: how does my body feel at this moment? Often, we are distracted by how we THINK we feel, not how we feel. So check in: push your thoughts out of your head and into your heart. (Sounds weird, but it works). Is your heart racing? Hands shaking? Or is your brain messing with you? This is one of the ways fear worms its way into your thoughts with anxiety and worry.
Get Curious…It Always Helps
I also recommend another little Q&A: Ask yourself “why?” Why am I avoiding this task? For example: “Why don’t I call my mom?” The answer to that question is never about love. It’s always about fear. And as we learned in the biology lesson, love begets more love. SO CALL YOUR MOM.
A Last Note about Fear
The things we fear are often worse than the outcome of acting on the fear. Fear causes paralysis. Still water breeds bacteria. Love puts you into the flow of the universe. Flow gets you moving. And if you are aligning your actions and decisions with your authentic motivations, you put yourself in an incredible position of positivity. Positivity equals love.
Here are a few easy things you can do TODAY to increase the love in your life:
Be compassionate. Realize you have no idea what it is like to be in someone else’s shoes. Let someone merge in bad traffic. Buy a stranger a cup of coffee. Hold a door; give what you can when you can.
Hug someone. (Maybe not a stranger.) Friendly physical touch releases oxytocin. So hug your kids, your neighbor, your spouse, your friends. Hug it out!
Laugh. Life is funny. Balls are funny. I bet you’re funny.
Take a walk. Physical activity relieves stress. A simple walk to clear your head puts you in a better place (literally) to make positive decisions. Sitting and stewing does not.
Call a friend. (Or your mom or dad, they would love that.) Set aside a few minutes to catch up or reach out. Life is short: phone calls can be too.
Breathe. Eight seconds in, eight seconds out. Breath is life. Inhale love; exhale fear. It’s that easy.
It all comes down to this: love is good. It puts you in a place of positivity and power. Fear is bad. It creates negativity and weakness. Love is I AM. Fear is I CAN’T. Yes, you can and yes, you are. Hunt down love, and you will achieve more of your goals and hit more of your targets. And, as a side effect, make the world a better place.
