The September sunrise was magnificent. I lay there in the brown sandy hills of Medicine Hat, Alberta and it’s opening day of bow season. The anticipation runs high and my soul is on fire, I am so ready to be here it is ridiculous! Just as the first shooting light has presented itself, so does a bachelor group of three big mule deer bucks. The third buck is a “gagger” (a way of saying huge) and he is going to walk by me broadside at 25 yards, just as the guide said he would. My heart is slamming and I am about to draw my bow and take him when something inside me says, “no Farbz, it’s the start of a four-day trip and you’ll probably see a better buck, let him walk.” And I do just that. Did I make the right call to let him walk or should I have simply tagged out right there in the first moments of daylight? You decide.

Recently in our Outdoor Hub headquarters, I was sitting with a new salesman we hired to run our Los Angeles office. He asked me to provide him with one key takeaway to up his chances of being successful in running our West Coast office. I pondered this question for a bit and thought of all of the different sales guys we had hired since founding the company and those who had been most successful. I thought about those who had failed and why they had failed. I thought back on the real estate company I ran prior to Outdoor Hub and which salesmen and women had the best success and it hit me. I said to him, “Karlton, the key to you being successful in this job is to ‘tag out quickly’.” I explained how on several hunting trips in my life I have seen the best shooting opportunities on the first day of hunts, but I became obsessed with the “what ifs”, which are really shiny objects that make you lose focus on the mission of tagging out.

Often the best way to ensure success when you are new at something or re-honing in your skills that have sat in a slumber state is to tag out quickly. The more I thought about this advice, the more applicable I realized it was and thought it worthy of a blog. Whether you are starting a new job, returning to work after a hiatus, or just getting out of a long relationship sometimes you just need to tag out quickly. A taste of blood, so to speak, can do much to energize us. Too often in life we become “shotgun approached” (a scattered approach to solving something) and not “rifle approached” (precisely honed in on a target), and instead of turning consistent, strong results we end up with a bunch of partial results and never reach our full potential. While I often believe in trophy hunting in life, sometimes you just got to tag out and get the mojo flowing. Note that I am talking about much more than hunting here, this is business and this is life.

The advice resonated with Karlton, who is now working on closing his first deal just a week and a half after starting with the company. It may not be a huge deal but it is a trophy nonetheless as it will lift his spirit, build his confidence, and put him on a path to success. Yes, Karlton is making the decision to tag out quickly and if/when he closes this deal it will likely make all the difference. Have you been in a situation like this in life? Have you chosen to tag out quickly or have you passed and waited it out?

The sun is setting now and I am in the last minutes of daylight on the fourth and final day of my Alberta bowhunting trip, and I had not seen another buck in range that came close to the monster I let walk on the first morning. The humble thought in this moment that made its way into my mind was, “Farbz, seriously? Now you’d shoot any buck that is even close to that first morning one.” As darkness sets in I can only shake my head as I know that I have a long day of travel home tomorrow and I am skunked and shouldn’t be. Sure I will have the memories, sure I had a great hunt, but I also learned a lesson. To be able to share this knowledge in hindsight later makes it all worthwhile I suppose, but my advice to you is that sometimes in life pull the trigger and tag out quickly! I have a feeling this advice might just help you achieve higher success, and hopefully it will do just that for Karlton!

What do you think of when you hear this question? You may think of sitting around with your friends and asking one of them if they are coming to a future dinner or a trip. Perhaps you remember a coach asking you this question or maybe a boss or a co-worker to gauge your commitment level or vice versa. My question is have YOU have ever asked YOURSELF the question–ARE YOU IN OR ARE YOU OUT? It can be a maddening answer to this question, as all too often we are out. Yet, within this momentary feeling of disdain there is learning, and there is a gift.

Fresh snow-covered the woods all around me. On each branch rests a damp powder coat, framing the scene. The woods are magical in this state and few things beat sitting up in a tree and experiencing the remarkable white transformation that occurs in front of your eyes on the first snowfall of the year. I lean back in my stand, take a deep breath and immerse myself into the thick of it, but something feels off, holding me from the meditative state that I badly crave. It’s not the sort of thing that is easily explained, but here goes my best shot…

My head feels almost taken over by uncontrollable thoughts and each seems so real, however the wiser being within me knows that they cannot be real–they’re just fear or ego creeping its way into the moment. I am like a vessel that is being used to channel energy and thoughts, instead of an evolved hunter who is in control. The wind is calm, and the woods are nearly silent. It is a hunter’s dream conditions to be one with nature.

The view is literally breathtaking, yet I am struggling to calm my mind and to control my thoughts. An epiphany suddenly comes to me that I am likely not living with consciousness or being “in” this moment. Then I question whether even having thoughts of “being in versus out” is a step towards entering a state of presence or a state of deeper consciousness than I may be aware of. Yet I question this too, as most of the thoughts are either from the past or about the future. I whisper to myself, “Farbz, are you in or are you out?” I start repeating “I’m in, I’m in, I’m in…” Have you ever felt anything like this? It truly can be maddening, I feel almost anguish over this lack of clarity on such a remarkable day.

Momentarily, I feel myself submerge into the tree, and my body feels elevated above this beautiful scene in a trance-like state. I again ask myself “are you in or are you out”? To this I whisper repeatedly again “I’m in, I’m in, I’m in,” but I cannot seem to stay there. This badly craved totally “In” meditative state of mind appears to be eluding me as I cannot hold on to it and I become almost angered by this.

After about four hours on-stand, it is time to head back to the farmhouse and load up the truck to head home. My sit had proven surprisingly uneventful, except the fact that my circular mind was working in overtime. I chalk it up as a day where I at least asked myself the question “are you in or are you out” and perhaps amidst the unforgettable morning beauty I did evolve in some way, yet I feel most uneasy. I climb down from the tree and begin my long walk through the woods back to the farmhouse and the question keeps repeating itself in my head “are you in or are you out?”

I am walking in the door when my phone rings and it’s a friend who is talking about joining his daughter at an upcoming University of Michigan game. She attends school there and he tells me he doesn’t want to miss the opportunity as she is finishing college this year, and my chest suddenly tightens up and I feel vulnerable, I feel scared. I stare into Hunter’s eyes (my oldest son who is five) and at my other two little beautiful boys (River and Fischer) and I can see in their smiling faces how excited they are that their dad is home. Looking into their eyes I have this vision of my little boys as college kids with their faces all grown up right there in front of me. I feel immediately terrified that I do not want to be “out”, rather I want to be “in” and savor this moment with them and as many moments as possible in the times ahead. I am sure that many of you may have had a similar vision but this one really impacts me, as I know that too often with my family I am “out” and not “in”. If you ask yourself this question, what would the answer be?

I toss my iPhone into the bedroom and I walk up to my boys and kiss them and hold the three of them each close to my body and say, “boys right now I am in. I love you so much.”

I grab my wife Nadine and hold her and as a family we lay there for a moment and I again repeat “I’m in, I’m so freaking in,” and I stare deeply at them. My wife and Hunter have these puzzled looks on their faces like I am a little crazy and that may not be so far off I suppose, but I just continue to hold them tighter and I say nothing, but I know at that moment I am “in.”

While finishing up packing I think to myself how thankful I am to have spent a morning in nature and had such valuable thoughts come to me. I ask you, what is more precious than this in life? Many of us can use business as an alibi because we are always slammed. Shoot, I know how to put so many meetings into my schedule it makes my head spin, but how often is it at the expense of not being “in” in life and missing what really matters most.

Most of us have a plethora of excuses about why we are not “in” moments but those excuses will not bring back or create more of the times like when Hunter peed in the potty, or the first time I heard my boys laugh, or the special gaze my wife and I shared after having three kids so close together and still realizing how much we love each other. What if we focused diligently on being “in” for more of life? You might wonder how we would hold ourselves accountable. Perhaps it starts with a simple inner question of “are we in or are we out”. I thank nature for bringing me these ever important realizations that may help keep me “in” the game.

The woods were open, with leaves covering the forest floor. I sat atop my favorite ridge perched in a tree, gazing over a stunning view with my bow hanging next to me. When the woods are open, it feels as if you can see for miles. The morning was active with deer, but not the buck I was hunting for so I sit in solitude and stare out into the area around me and up into the sky far beyond this perfect place. Thoughts come out of me: “Farbz, your life has truly followed the rhythm of the fall this year. The woods transform as the fall progresses, as I have as well this year.” I pull out my iPhone, open up the notes app and I begin to type away the thoughts that come streaming into my mind. The following came out this past Friday and Saturday from my tree stand, I hope it resonates and that you receive an actionable takeaway from it.

Simplification of life is an amazing goal to constantly strive for. What if we could change our lives, remove our destructive patterns, and enhance our flow to jive with the leaves of fall? It is amazing how leaves work their cycle from green to colors, through their peak, and then they shed and fall to the ground and open up the woods again until spring. The fall of 2012 is proving to be a season of self-awareness and deep personal growth for me, where I seem to be in rhythm with the leaves. Having turned 40 last October, I vowed that this year’s fall would represent great change and it has indeed. In fact, I am changing so much like the leaves this year that it is almost uncanny.

This summer I reached one of those badly needed “clear it out” phases, where I knew I was capable of more in my life but I needed to “clear it out”. I decided to set the stage by removing alcohol from my life late this summer. Being an internet ad man in the outdoor industry these past six years has upped my necessity to entertain and with it built up a social drinking habit which had begun numbing out too much of my life. I have nothing against drinking, let me be clear, and I love a great beer or glass of wine, but I l allowed it to take too much of me. Too many days I would meet a client for a drink before coming home. Too many days I felt half-present with my wife and kids. Too many days I dozed off in my oldest son Hunter’s bed while reading him a book. Enough with becoming ornery or impatient with River or Fischer, my other sons, enough with not living with consciousness in my life. Yes, it was time to shed the habit, enough is enough. As the leaves began to transform so had I as a father, a hunter, and a man.

Upon quitting drinking, the love, the energy, the connection that I instantly felt while consciously looking into the eyes of my family created an intense burst of colors that I best compare to the October peak. The initial days were bright and each day seemed clearer and brighter. However, along with this brightness comes some dark sobering realities in life and in business, kind of like what a cold storm with high winds does to damage the peak colors as they begin to fade. The woods still have their colorful beauty with some transparency, which opens up more to be seen. With brightness still there, things become a little clearer, yet a little darker.

Once sober and clear, you begin to look deeper into the person that you are without the numbness, without the distraction, without the alibi, and you won’t like everything you see. This fall I have learned many valuable life lessons and not all were good, but lessons nonetheless and in the end I believe there is good in all lessons that help us grow. When the forest is covered with foliage, much of its contents can hide in the canopy. The thick green cover provides the ability to not be seen, however when the camouflage of the leaves around us sheds away, we are left naked and exposed. While there are gifts in this bare state, all of our flaws, weaknesses, and insecurities come to light. Within this place we can find clarity. Nobody said seeing clearly is easy, however it removes much of the unknown or at least many of the fears. Remember the saying that FEAR stands for FICTITIOUS EVENTS APPEARING REAL. Once the leaves have fallen and we can see clearly, the EVENTS become clearer and more real.

Looking at my life and at my character with the leaves gone, I had allowed myself to become over-committed with too many distractions. In turn this has tainted my ability to laser-focus in the way that I often preach to others as being critical. It became time to start shedding distractions. So as the leaves fall, so do many of my distractions, one at a time I am removing the clutter and “clearing it out”, you can do the same. Whether it is bad deals, toxic relationships, low return wasted time in personal distractions, old clothes that have sat around and should be donated or given to a friend, crap scattered around the office, you name it–it is time to “clear it out”. Yes, I believe fall represents the phase in which we should simplify life by allowing many of our leaves to fall off. Let us make room for that which is new, that which is important, and that which makes us better as human beings with a stronger, more connected purpose.

There are days where we will feel like the hunter and there will be days when we feel like the hunted. Today on this ridge I am perhaps somewhere in-between, and there are no leaves that remain to hide me from exposure, so every muscle in my body must remain still–except my active fingers typing away. Thoughts fly in and out of my head, but I am present and I am in the hunt. Perhaps what makes this time of year so special is the ability to sit and reflect in solitude like no other time, while remaining in the moment. On one hand I think many people struggle with sitting for hours on end in a tree because they fear boredom, or perhaps they fear the self-reflection, or perhaps they fear slowing down and being present, however for me the hunt is a way of life.

Within the life of the true hunter, there will be highs and there will be lows. However the clarity, the purpose, the focus, and the presence make up much of what I love in life. I have to go now, as a buck is pushing a doe below the ridge from me. Sorry, but the hunt is on…

How many times in your life have you asked yourself the question “who am I?” One morning last week, I was sitting with my friends and business partners Pete and Harry discussing how many of us develop a vision at a young age of what our mentors look like. We see a person as the best at what they do and this becomes our macro vision of what ultimate success looks like. Whether a hunter, a fisherman, a businessman, writer, or a speaker, it’s really all the same. While it is typically healthy to have a mentor it also can develop a distorted vision, hence an unrealistic or low self-image as we learn to compare ourselves to that imaginary mentor or macro vision. It is imaginary because within ourselves we see far more of the warts and pimples than what we can ever see in this mentor we place up on a pedestal. Having a macro view or a goal of where we want to be in life and or in business increases our chances for accomplishment, however while in the day-to-day micro moments of our lives we should learn to self-reflect realistically and not to create irrelevant imaginary comparisons. Simply put, we need to know where we really stand within ourselves because too often we have already achieved far more than we are able to see.

Later that day while sitting in a tree stand in a section of hardwoods, I thought deeper into the question of “who am I?” I remembered a time in my pre-adolescent years when I learned to first hunt. I then thought about when I first learned to speak in front of an audience at about the same age, and when I began to write. I remember clear as day picking my mentors, or more like my idols I suppose as I look at it now. It is not important which people I chose, but rather that I chose people whom in my mind I doubt I ever could ever have equaled or surpassed in perceived success levels. The odd thing is that I have now met several of these figures whom I looked to as the ultimate achievers at their craft and each time I have been surprised to realize that they are just as messed up in the head as I am, perhaps sometimes even more.

As the afternoon moves on and I am surrounded by the sounds and sights of birds, squirrels, and the leaves as they fall to the ground. It is amazing to have these thoughts, to ask these questions while sitting alone in the woods. Whether you are waiting for the perfect light to photograph a sunset, waiting for the wind to die down in order to finish a climb up a mountain, or just sitting and waiting for deer to start to moving, nature has a way of inspiring breakthrough thoughts. We cannot always get our minds cleared out, but nature sets the stage perfectly and it adds purity and clarity that is tough to get when indoors or in the swing of everyday life. Nature substantially ups our chances of having fear-free thoughts that are REAL.

As my sit in the woods gets closer to dusk, I begin to recall a recent conversation I had with a brilliant young woman who works in one of our companies who has what I will call the “4.0 curse”. She never received a B in her life in school and she has viewed getting a B as a sign of unacceptable weakness, a total failure. As a student this forced her to diligently study and to achieve, however it quietly began to create a longer term “who am I” crisis for her. If she does not feel that she is an absolute 4.0 at anything she is doing directly or indirectly in her career then she feels inadequate and incapable of outwardly expressing herself at a meeting. This lady is far more intelligent in her grasp of her industry than 99% of the people in it, yet she does not see it this way as she has the “4.0 curse”.

While not all of us (certainly not myself) can relate to the 4.0 curse in life (more like the 3.3333 curse!), most of us can relate to feeling a macro inadequacy. I believe that these macro inadequacies come from an event or a series of events in our lives that shape much of our self-image and much of our future. It serves us well to have trusted friends and/or co-workers around us to help us better gauge who we are as people and what their macro vision of us looks like. For those of us that try in life, we may be surprised to hear that we are better than our self-image and that it might be time to reexamine and even tweak the macro vision or goal as we may have already surpassed it without knowing it.

As the sun began to set, the deer were not moving so I even went deeper into this “who am I” question and I thought of all of the people I have taught to hunt, to buy and sell real estate, to build a business on the internet, or advised on a relationship issue. I recounted the thousands of thank you emails or handwritten notes or little gifts I had received, yet when I looked deeply into myself I realized that I do not fully see myself as this true macro professional. I, like all human beings, have fallen victim many times in my life to not having a healthy enough self-image. With a wall full of the fruits of many of my hunts, real estate documents and other tombstones (plaques you receive for the closing of deals), an office full of awesome employees, pictures with amazing family and friends, and most importantly the eternal and irreplaceable memories I have experienced, I know that I have already achieved a great deal in this lifetime. I bet many of you have as well, and you do not even realize it.

By all means we need macro goals or visions of where we aspire to be in our lives, but not at the expense of living present or in the moment. Instead, we should learn to set and alter these macro goals or visions as we evolve in an effort to enhance the quality of life in the micro moments. Ask yourself the question–”who am I?”, find the true answer, and stop underestimating yourself.

The northern Wisconsin air was crisp, it was a mere 30 degrees out and I found myself 20 feet up in a Douglas-fir tree. I was surrounded by fields, swampy chunks of land and the morning felt perfect. As the sun rose higher into the sky all appeared beautiful, almost surreal. For some stupid reason I pulled out my cell phone and observed that several people from a business forum group that I have met with on and off for 20 years had called me within minutes of each other. As I looked at the phone, I noticed another guy from our group calling and something inside me began to shake. I felt the sudden cold come over me and I knew that something was wrong, really wrong.

I answered the phone and whispered, “hey Geoff is everything okay?” As I asked, I knew that it wasn’t and the only words I remember were, “no, everything is not okay, Dave committed suicide.” After those words hit, I can’t remember anything for at least 30 minutes. In a deep state of silence, I stared into the frost-covered trees void of thought.

When I snapped out of that missing period of time, I began to think of all of the gifts Dave had passed on, all of the love, the energy, it truly was limitless. I thought of his love for nature and that ironically his wife’s family had a summer cottage not even 10 miles from where I was sitting. I then remember many times where next to a lake, out in a boat, in the field or the woods where my dad told me how much he loved me and that nothing is ever worth missing the next sunrise or the next day in the woods for. He explained his unconditional love for me and told me that he would always be there no matter what. For some reason I always remember what nature looked like in these moments, and somehow this always made the world okay for me, even with the darkest skies around me.

Monday, October 15th of 2012 will likely be remembered as one of the saddest and most premature funerals I have ever attended. Dave was a passionate outdoorsman and a total music animal. Dave’ s skills were banging on the drums, being the life of the party and the guy everyone instantly loved. He truly appreciated nature in the moment. If you have ever finished a long climb up a mountain, or sat out an all-day hunt in the cold, then you know it takes a rally factor to push through. Some of us may use a rally factor like our spouse, a parent, perhaps a popular figure, or a previous time when we ourselves managed to push through to help us get past a difficult moment. Dave was a rally factor personified. He could light a room up in minutes. However, I suppose like every gift of lightness that appears in superhero-like form, there is a darker side.

As I finished delivering a few difficult words at the funeral, I was unable look at the large audience for fear that I would totally lose it as my heart hurt and tears were streaming from my eyes. I felt totally confused as to why David would quit on life. I could not help but think that had he just made it above that low, had he pushed through and taken himself to the woods or had he played the right song it could have pushed him to see the next sunrise.

I learned two very difficult lessons this week. First, at times, everyone is wearing a mask–even those “rally factor” type people. I can relate to this–when pressure is mounting and there are real problems, I am the first to say that everything is fine and everything is alright, even though the reality may be starkly different. I then retreat to nature, or I think about one of those chats my dad and I had along Lake Michigan or walking in an apple orchard, and the right thoughts come to me and I feel recharged. Second, much like feeling the air as the barometric pressure rapidly drops and reacting before the storm comes in, we need to focus on not just the sunny lighter sides of people, but we must also pay mind to the darker side. There will be days when the sun shines brightly and days when grey fills the sky, it is all a part of the cycle of nature and the cycle of life.

Back at the office after the funeral, I am jammed in meetings that appear endless. As I am about to head to a dinner meeting to recruit a couple new employees, I decide that instead I am going to go home and see my family. As I walk in the door I briefly grab my two oldest boys, five-year-old Hunter and three-year-old River, and we head to the windows on the west side of the house to look out at the lake. I pull them in close, kiss their heads and say, “I love you so much boys. You cannot imagine the love that I feel. There will be good days and there will be bad days. On those bad days know that your mom and I love you more than anything. When you are in a bad mood or you feel sad, go and find a lake, a little bit of woods, or simply a big tree and you remember these words: I will always love you and the sun will shine again boys.”

Hunter looks at me and says, “dad, we know how much you love us. I think everyone knows and we know we can look at the lake.” I look at him with a serious but content face and say, “good, don’t forget it and know that I will keep reminding you of it regularly for the rest of my life.”

As I am getting ready for bed, I wonder to myself whether Dave’s dad had ever told his son how much he loved him in the dusk of a setting sun. I am very optimistic that Dave did that for his children often–hopefully it will have that same type of push through effect that my father’s words had on me. We cannot turn back time, but we CAN ask ourselves which type of parent we want to be.

My love goes out to Dave and his family.

It is amazing what some quiet time in nature can do to bring more answers to our perceived problems in life. As autumn moves in and the trees begin to turn colors, I have found that this healing effect of nature is magnified many times over. There is something energy lifting and even soul restoring about the sight, smell, and feel of the peak colors in northern Michigan. No matter how wound up you feel, no matter how bad the situation may seem, some time spent in the changing colors of northern Michigan will elevate the soul. So many times throughout life I have turned to the colors to help bring more direction and meaning to my life, and so many times I have found what I am looking for. If you have not experienced color changes that represent this level of natural power, then you are robbing yourself of a transformational experience. It is truly God’s country at its finest.

As I pull past the road sign informing me that I’ve entered Antrim County, I feel a surge of butterflies in my stomach and immediate stress relief coming on. I have been going hard, burning the candle at both ends as of late. While I feel some decent zen in my life, I have been undeniably stressed and a even a bit dulled to nature, as sad as that is to admit. The colors are simply exquisite as the reds, oranges, and even purples pop out and captivate me. I am in up north in Ellsworth, Michigan to spend a couple of days in a tree stand for the 2012-2013 opener of archery season and this recent tension has me in dire need of such a retreat . I take a deep breath and say to myself “thank God, I need a little northern Michigan color change and some pure air to breathe in for a while,” and a satisfied grin comes over my face. I pull into the farm ready for some good grub, a perfect sunset and a little chill time before the hunt in the morning.

It was almost 10 AM when I stepped out of the woods, threw off my camouflage jacket and safety harness vest, set my bow in the backseat of the truck cab, and decided to hop in the truck bed and color gaze for a while. It was a solid first morning hunt, as I could have arrowed several deer, but did not see the big guy I was looking for. I turn my cell phone off so nothing will interrupt my peaceful state, sit back and stare out into the sky. I tune into the power of what is occurring in nature and I am immediately awestruck by its radiance. I love how this happens time and time again with nature. Just when you assume that you know what it is all about, you become more captivated than ever before by its abundant beauty and energy. I can feel the stress begin to clear out and positive thoughts come to me. Nature offers us this opportunity to clear out tension by merely being one with it. After another day of this I will be recharged and ready to hit the battlefields of business and jump back in ready to rock.

If you feel like stress is pulling at you or if you need a big answer to a life problem, get out in nature and let the answers flow to you. If you are in need of some fresh perspective or are searching for something nature has you covered. Life in a tree stand deep in the woods is about way more than just hunting – it is about absorbing all of the wonderful connective energy that radiates from the woods. There is no time where that flow is more abundant than when the color change is taking place and we transform alongside it. Go and be present and breathe in the fall and absorb that positive natural force and let it guide you to the best destination. You will not be disappointed.