We all have that one story that kills. The one you can whip out at a dull party and immediately get people livened up and talking to one another. But then, every once in a while, old faithful fails and you cannot figure out why. Figuring out the “why” and understanding the filters of your audience will increase your success in communicating your ideas, putting you on a better trail for hitting your targets.
We all have filters. The same thing stopping my mother from hearing anything other than the bad grammar used during a particularity robust retelling of an event is the same thing stopping any audience from grasping the meaning of your story. Filters come from life experience, language usage or even emotional context.
Understanding filters means looking at the world through different eyes and using the “above & clear” hunting skills you’ve been practicing. Here are some quick spotting tricks for figuring out an audience on the fly:
Visual: People who take in information best via sight use words like “I can’t picture what you’re saying” or “I see your plan.” Now you know to use visual storytelling and paint the scene for them. My father is extraordinarily visual, when we work together on a project, I sometimes physically draw an idea so he can literally “see” what I am talking about.
Auditory: People who are auditory get hung up on specific words. As I noted above, my English-major, author, auditory mom hates bad grammar and mispronunciation. In knowing that, I usually (I mean, I’m human) try to mind my words around her because the minute she hears it, a block comes up and stops our communication. Not to generalize, but more women have auditory filters. They will say: “Are you tuned in?” and tend to look off, breaking eye contact when you hit a block. Be very mindful of tone and language with auditory people and use words that speak to them: hear, listen, sound, etc.
Kinesthetic/Feel: Feel people need to feel things, both literally and emotionally. My brother, my partner and the smartest real estate mind I know, often uses feel to his advantage. Much like many world-class negotiators, he needs to feel a deal, rather than see it; and he isn’t afraid to walk away if it feels wrong. He learns through doing and will often say things like “my gut is telling me” or “I know in my heart.” Add physicality to your story and explain tense moments with phrases like “my back was to the wall.”
Try these tips out at home or the office. Start small with a test group. Take notes and refer to them before meetings so that you can tailor your communication to your audience’s filters. Remember, the meaning of communication is the response you get. Make sure your message is getting through those filters and hitting the bull’s eye.
