Each day, around 3pm, I try to catch a glimpse of this herd of sheltered deer in the field outside my office window. I watch them during their social hour, hanging out in groups of twos and threes, one buck off on his own. I can’t help but look at them and think about all the holiday parties and gatherings my wife and I are attending this month and how we are not so different from those deer.
I’m going to tell you something, and it may come as a surprise: I love people and I love conversation, but I hate small talk. More likely that not, at parties and get-togethers, you will find me head-to-head in a deep conversation about a concern, a communication struggle, a business problem long before you find me talking lightly about the weather. I like to get into the meat of things, and am always ready to lend an ear and some words of advice to help others on their hunt for a meaningful life.
This willingness and openness has actually led me into quite a predicament. I was thinking about how stressed I’ve been in the last few months and it pushed me into making some tough decisions about time and energy and where mine is best spent. There is a well-known Harvard Business Review article (https://hbr.org/2007/10/manage-your-energy-not-your-time) about managing your energy and not your time. But I take a different view. I want to devote my energy to where it makes the most sense for my life, for my hunt. And that means finding the time for the things that are most important, most valuable to me, as both a father and a leader.
So I took a hard look at my schedule. And made some changes so I could focus on my core values and what gives my hunt meaning and significance. It was a bit of an overhaul and harder on my team and my amazing assistant than it was on me, but now I have time…to watch those social deer outside my window, to get in front of the ball rather than chasing it, to see my son’s play on last minute notice.
I’m looking forward to seeing friends, family and colleagues in a social setting over these next few weeks. I’m looking forward to getting into the thick of it, not being the buck off on his own, but reconnecting with my tribe and getting the most out of both my time and energy.
