I pulled up late to the event feeling a touch uneasy. It was the Carbon Media Group Annual summer picnic. CMG, the company I founded and ran as CEO, once a few guys cranking in an “office” (okay, a closet) at Farbman Group, is all grown up. Today, Carbon Media is growing at record pace and is the content authority for the outdoors on line. With an audience of nearly 30 million unique visitors per month and a solid operating team in place, life is good.
As I approached the event, I felt like a fish out of water. Even though I knew the company needed a new leadership team to reach its full potential, I sometimes have a difficult time letting go. I knew that my desired outcome was to change the outdoor universe online and help grow the outdoors. The key to this plan coming to fruition is to live it, however, and that is the hardest part.
As I walked up to a few of our team members, I felt awkward, perhaps even obsolete. Immediately, the conflict became clear to me. This was the Judge ready to fight the Scout. The scout says to me “Farbz, let’s stay above and clear and focused on the target. The judge says, “Man, it’s weird to feel out of touch. This feels off to me. Why am I the one out of place, this is my company.”
When you are truly present, you are a Scout, not a Judge. You’re able to observe yourself and the events taking place around you without filtering the view through your ego or allowing the Judge to drag you into the jaws of insecurity and fear. The voice of the Judge is nothing more than our ego messing with us. And I was not going to fall into that trap.
I settled in some by simply recognizing the battle. Later, when I was able to get above and clear, I could see that I am locked in on the target of building an amazing company and doing my part. And at this stage, my part is taking a step back and watching it soar without me.
The next morning as I drove into the office, I was overcome by a huge outburst of emotion. I had to pull into a parking lot and let it all out. It was an amazing release of energy and when it was over I felt a true sense of peace, a restored sense of self, and even a little proud of myself. I love it when the Scout wins The Hunt. If the Judge rules your brain every time you find yourself in a tough spot, I have an important piece of advice: step away from the center of the universe!
