I’m rolling around in bed all night, I just cannot sleep. The stress feels so “real”, the kind that almost seems as if it has bypassed fear, it just feels “real”. My stomach aches, and my body is in pain. I was in trouble and I knew it, and this time it felt like real trouble. I’m in the middle of a horrible few business deals and I can’t seem to figure it out, the pressure has been heating up and tonight it feels as if it is all piled upon me. “I need to get ‘above’ it,” I tell myself.
I get out of bed, walk into my office and fire up the computer. While it is booting up I roll through the kitchen and hit brew on the coffee maker and snag a glass of water. On the walk back towards my office, a sudden thrust of cold energy strikes me and moves me back. It literally hurt my arm and shoulder inside of the bone, it just felt so “real”. I think to myself “Farbz, you really need to get above this, it has to be fear messing with you. There is a way through this, so get above it and solve it man”.
I sit down at my desk and I begin to think of myself getting “above” this “real” feeling playing with my mind and body that is trying to penetrate my soul. I begin to meditate into this thought of rising above it so that it cannot stay above me, smothering me in its shadow. My meditative state has me visualizing laying on a hillside at our farm in Northern Michigan in my sacred place. There is a gentle breeze, the sun warms my whole body. I can see for miles, staring down on the rolling fields beneath and the massive sections of contiguous hardwoods that appear to go on as far as the eye can see. I am entering a state of consciousness as I have moved above the situation, above the room that I am sitting in, above my sacred place on that amazing side hill up north. My breathing becomes rhythmic. I am watching the computer screen, I watch my fingers stroke the keys and see the words fill the screen as I write all of my fears and then pros and cons with certain strategic moves I can make, and the fear barrier is felt and then passed in reverse. Yes, I am above it now.
The printer pushes the pages out. I grab them, pour a cup of coffee from the pot and walk outside and lay on the ground staring into the sky. It is very early still. The birds have not yet begun to sing, it is nearly silent and a full moon illuminates the sky. Under the moonlight surrounded by massive mature oak trees on top of a steep ravine in Franklin, Michigan where I was living at the time, I read the words that I just finished writing in a state of consciousness. I realize it is all just fear. I hear movement down below the steep ravine I am on top of and my eyes reach the figure that is making these sounds: it is a beautiful buck, probably a 10 pointer, and I lose myself in him. He starts rubbing his antlers on a tree and then looks up the steep ravine and stares deeply at me. He is unsure of my presence, but he can feel me and I can feel him, the energy exchange is real and he trots off. I move back into a deep state of mediation.
The sun is now starting to rise, it has been hours since I laid on the ground. I look at the gorgeous sky and the trees that surround me. I feel better now and I realize how deeply I meditated. It was not real – it was merely fear. I have indeed risen above it again. An idea crystallizes in my mind about how to approach these issues and as I get up off the ground I feel thankful that nature and mediation has once again helped bring in a new day.
Do you ever feel that stress is becoming unbearable and do you wish to pass these moments more quickly? Perhaps trying to visualize yourself getting above it all will help. Do you have a sacred place in nature that is your retreat spot to visualize? A place that is always waiting for you and you can go there any time in your mind? If so, use it, and if not maybe try visualizing this place in nature as it can set you free and help you rise above trying times.